Ch 3 - 5 pm

Warning: This is a discussion of non-alcoholic beverages and "cocktail hour". If you are triggered by these topics, please move on. 

I had rules. 

I didn't drink 

• when babysitting the grandkids 
• while taking prescription painkillers 
• during pregnancy
• from tiny bottles, flasks or paper bags
• anything blue
• before 5 pm 

I'm not sure where the blue drink taboo came from but the others made sense. If I didn't drink under those circumstances, then I didn't have "a problem". But believe you me, when the much anticipated 5 pm rolled around, nothing stood between me and my wine (or bourbon). This was so a part of my daily routine that I maneuvered like crazy to avoid evening events that didn't (or shouldn't) include drinking. Sure, some were unavoidable, so in those annoying cases, I made up for lost time when I returned home. 

(The idea that this indicates an unhealthy relationship with alcohol only occurred to me while writing this. It's uncanny how cleverly we hide the truth from ourselves.)

But.

5 pm marks the perfect end-of-workday pause. It's a time to relax, reflect, exhale and segue into evening. Does it work without alcohol?

Yes, yes it can. That transition can take many forms. Sometimes I walk my dog or meditate or simply sit on the front porch and watch the birds and squirrels scramble for the last call. (We take feeders in at dusk to discourage hungry bears.) Other times I fix a special drink served in a nice glass to enjoy in good company, even if it's a party of one.

Club soda with a lime wedge doesn't work for me. Neither does diet soda. I prefer something with more character and interest. As soon as I started web searches for NA (non alcoholic) beverages, Google barraged me with suggestions. There are fancy sparkling waters, NA beers, red and white wines with the alcohol removed, pre-mixed elixirs and, incredibly, spirit-less spirits. I read reviews and ordered bottles and cans. I suspect I spent more money on alternative beverages than on those containing alcohol weeks just before. Some are truly revolting and others have become mainstays in my pantry. 

Here's my take on some of the products on the market. (Note: I'm not compensated if you follow the links provided below. Maybe someday?)

Red Wine: Let's kick this to the curb right now. There is no way to produce a satisfying red NA wine. Many swear they have done this, and I'm always willing to try another, but mostly they're weak and sweet or watery and sour. They're also expensive with prices havering around $30/bottle. I've wasted my $$ so you don't have to.

White Wine: I've tried several of these and the best I've discovered is the Sauvignon Blanc produced by Surely. Pour this into a stemmed glass and it's....decent. No, it isn't Sauvignon Blanc. If you lift the glass to your lips with certain wine-y expectations, you'll be sorely disappointed. But this satisfies me. It's also refreshing in a spritzer with club soda and a twist of lemon. 

Sparkling Wines: Surely also makes the best sparkling wine alternatives I've tasted. Why do I say that? They aren't sweet. My favorite is the Brut, but the Sparkling White and Rose are also pleasant. I've always enjoyed the festive nature of sparkling wine, and alcohol-free versions offer the same pleasure. You can purchase them in cans, which is convenient especially since a bottle lasts me days and the carbonation tends to pop the bottle stoppers off in the fridge, creating an amusing treasure hunt among my moldering leftovers and removing the sparkle. Here's a review of Surely wines.

Beer: Hands down, the best NA beer I've tried is produced by Athletic Brewing. Co-founded by Bill Shufelt and head brewer John Walker, Athletic Brewing offers an enormous variety of beers, (45 this year) including lagers, IPAs, sour ales and a pilsner. My favorites are Upside Dawn and Run Wild but I haven't come close to trying them all. If you're watching calories and carbs, I think that NA beer is lower in calories but similar in carbs to alcoholic beer. Check out this article in Food & Wine. 

Spirits: A friend who has not jumped on the sobriety bus and thoroughly enjoys her gin & tonics recommended a NA gin to me. She compared Monday Zero Gin to high end gins and says that, when mixed with Fever Tree Tonic, she can't tell the difference. I had always steered clear of gin because even though I enjoyed the juniper and pepper flavors, one cocktail turned me into a nasty bitch. But I think my friend's right about this. Squeeze in a lime wedge, add a good tonic and it's a decent G&T. While on the Monday website, I also discovered their Zero Alcohol Mezcal. I mix the smoky Mezcal with spicy but not overwhelming Hella Habanero Margarita mix. The margarita mix amps up the carbs but it's a nice treat. 

My go-to spirit, when I was drinking alcohol, was bourbon. There are a few NA bourbons on the market, and all say they're palatable when mixed into a mocktail like an Old Fashioned or a Manhattan. I haven't found one that makes the cut. If I do, I'll update this post. (8/6/2022 update: I just ordered Free Spirits Bourbon. Stay tuned.)

Unusual finds: When I told my son about exploring sobriety, he recommended Hoplark, a sparkling tea made with hops. To be honest, it sounded odd, at best. Until I tried it. There are several varieties made with different teas (black, green, chamomile) and some are hoppier than others. All are refreshing with no sugar or calories. I love these! They're good with a meal or on their own; over ice or straight up. You can find them at Whole Foods or order online.

Have you sensed a trend here? I don't like sweet beverages at all, and prefer complex flavors that make you sit up and take notice. If this also appeals to you, check out Hella's soda and bitters. I really like the no cal, no carb Ginger Turmeric and Dry Aromatic flavors. They're pricey, but the ingredients are lovely. Here's what's in the Ginger Turmeric: Carbonated Water, Natural Flavors, Gentian Root Extract, Hella Aromatic Bitters (Jamaican Allspice, Black Peppercorns, Caraway, Cinnamon Sticks, Cloves, Rose Hips, Angelica Root, Gentian Root, Chinese Star Anise, Chamomile, citric acid, Paprika Oleoresin for color, Turmeric Extract. Sometimes I add a few drops of ginger bitters for extra zing.

I've also tried Curious Elixirs pre-mixed "cocktails". Each variety is numbered with a different flavor profile. A bottle is good for two servings. and costs about $4 to $5 per serving. I enjoyed them - they're good, but just not fabulous enough for me to reorder. This will probably work better for folks who enjoy subtle flavors and don't need a big zap to their tastebuds like me. Here's a review to help you make up your own mind.

Do you have any recommendations? Please leave a comment and let me know. I'm a very willing guinea pig.

Will I continue to experiment with alcoholic beverage substitutes? I have no idea, but for now these are fun and best of all, they help me relax at the end of the day and hit the pillow sober.  

Cause there's no better feeling than waking up alert, clear-headed and ready to take on the day.

Check out the next post here.